Nathan can’t understand how anyone can be such a mug as to believe that the Covid 19 outbreak was just an accident. It’s so obviously a plot by the Chinese to destroy western economies and achieve Global Domination.
Nathan could tell from the outset that there was a conspiracy behind Covid 19. It had all the hallmarks: mysterious origins, built-in justification for magnified state control and – the surest sign of all – denial by Those In Power that it was a conspiracy at all. At first Nathan thought the virus was the latest manoeuvre by the shadowy Bilderberg Group in their long-held ambition to establish a supranational government through the World Economic Forum, particularly when he saw that Michael Gove’s pupils had turned black. This is a tell-tale sign of control by Archonic forces from the dark world. Then Nathan had an epiphany while watching his beef chow mien go round and round in the microwave: the Chinese had sought out a virus to which they themselves had high levels of genetic immunity, trialled it secretly in the remote city of Wuhan, and sent infected agents all over the world to cough at degenerate foreigners. Western democracy would be impotent in the face of such a calamity. Bingo – Global Domination. There must be some other reason for Michael Gove’s black pupils.
Nathan is scornful of anyone simplistic enough to believe the virus was created by Big Pharma, while those who claim Bill Gates wants to implant us all with microchips are just being paranoid. And no, it wasn’t brought to earth by aliens and it wasn’t caused by 5G radiation. Such stupid conspiracy theories bring Nathan out in a frenzy of eyeball-rolling, his most strenuous activity after keyboard-tapping and nose-picking.
Nathan hasn’t found the isolation of lockdown difficult. In fact he’s hardly noticed it at all. He may live alone above an all-night chippy in Slough but virtually he lives with thousands of freethinking brethren among whom the very latest conspiratorial revelations spread like nuclear fallout. When Nathan learns that for a mere $99 he can guarantee his own coronavirus immunity with an elixir of Chinese DNA, he immediately clicks ‘Buy Now’ and congratulates himself on being so well-informed.
© C P Jenkinson 20/03/2020
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