Victoria has been running everything in Framley Heath for donkey’s years and was the obvious person to take charge of the local Coronavirus Committee. Or so she thought.
Then the news reaches Victoria via the village shop that Carol Clegg from the adjacent, subsidiary hamlet of Timpson Green has started her own Coronavirus Committee. When it comes to gestures of parochial autonomy Timpson Green, under the fiercely independent Carol, has form. Lesser women than Victoria might have been riled by this latest declaration of self-governance. Victoria however is a pragmatist. Pausing merely to raise an eyebrow, she telephones Carol to praise her initiative and suggest pooling resources for the good of the whole parish. ‘I can empty my second chest-freezer of leftover game so we can fill it with supplies for anyone who can’t get to the shops during lockdown. I know you would be marvellous at co-ordinating our team of helpers.’ This is not empty flattery: Carol has formidable organisational skills, a legacy of her years as a hospital matron. Besides, the volunteers on who Victoria usually relies on for help with church fundraisers are almost as ancient as St. Mary’s itself and are all therefore self-isolating, whereas the Timpson Green committee, without the burden of a heap of Norman stone to prop up, can organise free events just for fun and is thus made up of women half the age. Carol is soon back in full matron mode drawing up rotas and hygiene commandments and the ladies of Timpson Green fall into line every bit as obediently as her nurses of old.
Meanwhile Victoria’s mobile pings with texts from women who have long avoided her for fear of being roped into contributing a raffle prize to the Quiz Night or, worse, actually attending, but who are now busily cultivating her friendship. For Victoria holds the Golden Ticket: the parish card for the cash-and-carry. She texts back: ‘Yes of course you can come when I next go. Can I put you down as a coronavirus buddy for Mrs Higgins? Just prescriptions and groceries on a Tuesday? Thank you so much.’ And she passes the latest name to Carol before feeding her husband pheasant casserole for the fourth time that week. The parish of Framley Heath (with Timpson Green) will emerge from coronavirus as it has emerged from every other disaster for the last thousand years, sore wounded but not slain.
© C P Jenkinson 20/04/2020
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