It was a springtime of sunshine and soft breezes, but it was a hard time for the riverbank animals because a mysterious sickness had taken hold.
For Toad of Toad Hall this was most inconvenient, because some of the poorer animals were coming to ask him for food and medicine. In point of fact he had no medicine at all and his food stores were almost empty because he had recently thrown a feast for all the neighbourhood, to celebrate his bold escape from imprisonment by the impertinent foreign warders who had determined to keep him chained up for ever. Even more annoying for Toad was his recollection that Ratty, Badger and Mole had told him weeks ago that the sickness was spreading down the river and that it was Toad’s responsibility to help. Toad hated responsibility, and he hated even more being told what to do, so he sent them away and invited the Chief Weasel to stay instead.
The Chief Weasel advised Toad to tell everyone that the sickness was all the fault of the animals further up the river, and then to promise to give out food and medicine tomorrow. Toad did this, calling it Operation Last Gasp which he thought very witty, and the animals believed him and thanked him, and Toad’s pride and conceit began to swell within him. ‘Ho-ho,’ he said to himself, ‘what a clever Toad I am at getting out of scrapes! There is surely no animal equal to me for cleverness in the whole world!’
‘There’s me,’ thought the Chief Weasel, although he did not say anything because continuing to live in luxury at Toad Hall depended on letting Toad believe his own nonsense.
But when his neighbours returned the next day Toad still did not want to admit that he, the rich and brilliant Toad, had nothing for them. ‘In any case,’ he grumbled, ‘It is not my fault so many of them are dying.’
The Chief Weasel said, ‘I have a couple of junior ferrets we can blame. We shall say it was their job to distribute the supplies but they stole everything and sold it all.’
So Toad did this and he even managed to persuade some of the animals to feel sorry for him. ‘I am the most popular Toad!’ he boasted afterwards.
The Chief Weasel then advised Toad to announce that he had succeeded in making the sickness go away. Toad thought this was a splendid idea, as it meant he could save face and appear to be the saviour of the riverbank at the same time. The more he thought about it, the more he believed that he really had saved the riverbank, even though he had done nothing at all, and he became more inflated every minute. ‘Clever toad, great Toad, good Toad!’ he crowed. ‘Tomorrow I shall stand at the gates of Toad Hall and make a speech about how kind and successful I am.’
The Chief Weasel watched him, all hard-eyed and evil and sharp, and thought what a very silly animal he was and how easy to fool. ‘When this is over,’ he thought, ‘You will be blamed after all, and I will take as much money and silver as I can carry from Toad Hall and return to be Chief of the Wild Wood.’
And this was exactly what happened.
© C P Jenkinson 16/05/2020. With apologies to Kenneth Grahame.
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